The Grieving Before the Mourning

Grief: deep sorrow, sadness, heaviness of heart

Mourning: the expression of deep sorrow

My grandmother is forever young in my mind but reality says otherwise as her mind and body reflect her age. I was fortunate enough to have spent most of my growing up years just minutes away, making visits frequent. Knowing the number of our days with her is quickly becoming smaller, I grieve for what’s to come.

We limit grief to death. But grief can exist in life.

I grieve, I feel a deep sorrow over the days I spent with her but barely conversed. What words of wisdom could I have gleaned?

I grieve her awareness of not being what she once was in body and mind.

I grieve how ready she is for the next life.

I grieve that one day her smile and laugh will become memories.

I grieve the inevitable.

This grief, this sorrow, is now. It’s while she’s still with us. There is no wrong in the grieving. It’s natural and perhaps even necessary. Though we know what’s to come, grief can help us accept it. For with the sorrow comes a letting go and an embracing of appreciation for all the moments and peace in the present.

There will come the day I mourn. Where the tears will flow freely in the sorrow of my loss and the joy of her gain. But that day is not today.

No, today I grieve, and rest in the moments that are now.

Grief is the price we pray for love

Queen Elizabeth II

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